Can You Love What Drives You Crazy?

I'm certain we've all been here at some point.

The easy answer to this question is yes, yes you can. All those little flaws that make you want to deck your brother or sister, slap your lover, or tear the page out of a good book may seem like pure hatred, but the truth is it comes as part of the mental package. The flaws that drive you crazy do so for a reason, and often those reasons are nearest and dearest to your heart. I know there are things that I do which I will never understand. Procrastination for one. They make me want to tear my own hair out almost as much as watching people destroy themselves or each other out of selfish wants and needs. The world is a messy place and it's more than just bodily problems. We make "drama," add to our emotional problems, and do down right crazy things for those we know and ourselves.

Let's face it, no one is a saint. We try, we really do, but at the end of the day we are only human.

Some of the best stories I've read involved characters who felt just in what they were doing, and I almost loved them as much as I hated them. They were ruining or thwarting my favorite character's efforts in a way that seemed downright dastardly. Thing is, stuff like this happens in our every day lives all the time. Some girl stole your best friend's boyfriend and mercilessly flaunted the fact to her face. Your grandparent got robbed by some kid who was just trying to make it into a gang. Your school rival got the job you had been trying to get for the past five years and it was only because he or she was flirting with the boss to get it. Crazy crap happens and it's all around you. The key is writing about some of that stuff when you are angry or peeved. Capturing the thoughts of that moment are so revealing about what is happening to a person in a rage. Then, after some time trying to see what you have written in another light. I, for one, had a moment like that tonight.

There's nothing like experiencing a bit of my own stupidity. Even now I'm shaking my head wondering how in the heck I managed to miss that tomorrow was New Year's Eve. Time flew right past my brain and made me think it was next week, not tomorrow. Somehow, I managed to believe that December deserved another week of existence for 2012. There was so much I was going to get done in that extra week too! I wanted a certain project for Musa done by tomorrow and was supposed to be working on my notes for my 50,000 words in January. That has all been reduced to one day's work and as luck would have it the road will have a couple hours of my attention (again.) I'm seething and have no one to blame for myself. Sometime in the future, I'm certain I'll look back at this and laugh. Who knows I may even be glad I was late because of some of the inspiration I got from the film adaption of Les Miserables tonight!

I'm definitely hitting a learning curve. Now, I have some work to do! Happy Writings to all of you and may it be an outlet for all those moments in your life you feel the steam pouring out of your ears.

Good Girl Gone Bad!

Last Christmas my mother got me a night shirt that said, "Careful, or you'll end up in my novel." It was meant as something cute. However, whenever I dawn it I get this small bit of satisfaction out of it. Knowing that there is a wicked little secret that I may indeed depict someone. Never in a recognizable way! A trait here, a quote there, but never more than that. It's a habit to want to imitate life, to make your writing have a breath and life that carries more than your own voice.

It's Tuesday night and I didn't written a thing on Monday. It's because I visited my boyfriend. Some of you out there probably understand the pull certain people in your life have on you. Those that can convince you to take time away from the things you should be doing. A lunch here, dinner there, a walk along the cold beach, or watching a new movie.

It would be so easy to lay the blame on him. Others often do when faced with my situation. They say that their partners always demanded or stole their time. However, I've always found that a silly thing to say. In the end I was the one who made the decision to avoid my writing. So needless to say I feel a bit wicked today, but nonetheless rested.

However, I'm not going to let this little break in my writing change my new goal just as I'm starting to form a habit and make some headway. I suppose the positive thing is that I really felt guilty about it. I've decided that I am going to keep writing on a Monday through Friday schedule.

Despite my neglect I did make a necessary selection for my future writing goals. I went through my personal library of notebooks and chose a story line to write about from the several I had. It wasn't a science fiction story like I had thought it would be, at least not entirely. The piece I chose is a solid piece of speculative fiction, a mix of several genres. There's a bit of science fiction, historical fiction, and fantasy in the story line. The piece I'm working on is called "The God Syndrome." It was an idea I came up with while I was in college. The notes for this story thankfully included a plot line.

Over the next few weeks I plan to expand my notes on the story. I may write a more detailed version of the plot, a mini story of sorts. I will still write a page a day, but I want to focus on building this work/ world. That and I will need to do some research on various subjects before I blindly move forward with my writing. Especially with history being an aspect to the story.